There have been many phenomenal, bargain purchases since the inaugural Premier League season. For every Paolo Di Canio, there’s been an Alberto Aquilani. For every Ruud van Nistelrooy, there’s been an Afonso Alves. It remains so, so difficult for managers to spend their cash wisely and it has to be said, on many of the occasions it goes horribly wrong – it can’t half be a joy for neutral fans!
Here is the list of the current Premier League lot’s worst ever – be warned, there are some clangers down below!
Arsenal – Francis Jeffers – Signed from Everton £8m – On paper, this was yet another piece of genius from Wenger, “Fox in the box” Jeffers enjoyed a terrific time at Goodison Park – with 1 goal every 3 league games. Yet never found anything like that sort of form for The Gunners, only 22 league appearances (many as sub) were quickly followed by shipping Francis out to Charlton and he has never been seen at the top of the English game since. He is currently attempting to break the mean defences found in Australia’s A League. How the mighty can fall. Aston Villa – Bosko Balaban – Signed from Dinamo Zagreb £5.8m – Bosko Balaban, the name alone sounds shudders around many a Premier League defender, but even more around the Villa Park faithful. This Croat spent 2-and-a-half years in The Midlands and finished with 2 league starts. A shame really, as despite an impressive scoring record everywhere else and a name with a fine ring to it - Bosko departed to Belgium. Thankfully though, he received some recognition – on The Times list of ‘Top 50 Worst Ever Footballers’ – bit harsh.
Blackburn – Corrado Grabbi – Signed from Ternana £6.75m – Fair to say Grabbi didn’t quite make the list of the Italian great centre-forwards – Del Piero and Inzaghi can sleep safely. Despite his well-publicised woefulness at Ewood Park, Corrado still has a loyal following of fans who love him on reflection – but for practically £7m – his 2 goals in 30 appearances more than likely didn’t bring quite the same love in 2003. Perhaps Graeme Souness – notoriously sharp in the transfer windows – should’ve realised that his reputation with Ternana wasn’t gained in ‘Serie A’.
Bolton – Mario Jardel – Signed from Sporting Lisbon £0 - Jardel could have easily became one the all time great Premier League finishers – his scoring record in Brazil, Turkey & Portugal was ludicrously good (more than a goal a game most seasons!). Mario though – will be forever remembered as ‘the man who never made it’. Following 7 appearances and no goals he did what all great Brazilian strikers do when they have reached the pinnacle of their careers – pig out and move back to Brazilian football. He made the free transfer seem outrageously overpriced!
Chelsea – Andriy Shevchenko – Signed from AC Milan £30.8m – So Roman and Jose finally got their man, the Ballon d’Or winner – feared across world football – Andriy Shevchenko in a British record £30m + bid. Where oh where did it go so belly-up? To contextualise it, Sheva is making current flop Fernando Torres look an inspired purchase. He failed to reach league goal double figures in two years at Stamford Bridge and promptly legged it back to Ukraine in 2009, golden reputation in tatters with those Serie A and Champions League medals safely at the bottom of his boot-bag.
Everton – Per KrǾldrup – Signed from Udinese £5m – Six years ago this Danish defender was entering his prime years and was universally understood to be one of the hottest centre back prodigies in Europe. It was when Everton did superbly well to beat off competition and ‘snap him up’ at £5m that he and the rest of the Premier League saw he was a player who belonged back in Italy. Per only featured once for The Toffees – a 4-0 drubbing at the hands of Aston Villa, that’s roughly £5m per appearance, the score-line didn’t bode too well for the Dane, who most probably figured that the quicker he escaped Merseyside the better.
Fulham – Steve Marlet – Signed from Lyon £11.5m – First of all - £11.5m is a lot of money now, 11 years ago it wasn’t far off un-heard of. To this day Marlet stands as Fulham’s record purchase – and to this day no-one knows why. With 11 goals in 54 games, owner Mohammed Al Fayed was so incensed with Marlet’s lack of quality he took then Manager Jean Tigana to court claiming he ‘paid an exorbitant fee’ because of his ties with Lyon. Steve can always look back at Fulham’s proud history and see his name in the record books, now at amateur club FC Red Star – one highly doubts that drab goals/game ratio has improved.Liverpool – Sean Dundee – Signed from Karlsruher SC £2m – Those expecting extortionate flops such as Alberto Aquilani or El-Hadji Diouf can think again, this South African wins hands down. Despite only 3 lacklustre substitute appearances at the end of ‘98/’99 – Mr Dundee’s name still sends shudders down any Kopite’s spine. The ‘speedster’, upon arrival claimed “I’m faster than Michael Owen” (This is the spring-chicken Owen, mind). To suggest he couldn’t break Owen’s strike partnership with another Anfield ‘Great’ Karl-Heinz Riedle says it all really. Widely regarded as the worst ever to wear the red shirt. Manchester City – Vicente Matías Vuoso – Signed from Independiente £3.5m – Not a huge sum of money, you may argue. You’d be correct – if you’re considering the ‘Sheik’ era at The Etihad. 2002 was a very different time and £3.5m wasn’t exactly pocket change, well – you would certainly expect a lot more for your money than an Argentine sulk who failed to appear once for the club and blamed his inability to settle and learn English because it was a “Primitive language” (yes, direct quote). Citizens could certainly think of 3,500,000 better ways to spend £1 than this failed Argentinean forward. Manchester United – Massimo Taibi – Signed from Venezia £4.5m – Possibly the most famous foreigner to only make 4 Premier League appearances of all time. This Italian stopper beat stiff competition from £28m man Juan Veron to make #1. A howler against arch-rivals Liverpool isn’t the best way to start your United career, but when you consider he followed it up with the Premier League blooper of them all allowing Matt Le Tissier to score (you will have seen the videos) and then finishing a splendid Old Trafford career on the receiving of a 5-0 demolition courtesy of Chelsea. Papers dubbed him “The Blind Venetian” yet he swiftly managed to find his way back to Italy in January.
Newcastle United – Albert Luque – Signed from Deportivo £9.5m – Albert was the starlet of Spanish football. He flourished alongside the likes of Juan Capdevila, Juan Valeron, Diego Tristan & Spanish legend Fran in a side brimming with quality. Other avenues were bound to open and in 2006 he chose Newcastle. Albert’s time was not enjoyed, he largely disappointed with 1 goal in 21 appearances. Luque found himself falling lower and lower in the pecking order – eventually so low he fell behind Matty Pattison (now playing in South Africa). His last shirt number at Newcastle was 17, previously of Titus Bramble – with that he fled to Holland and didn’t return.
Norwich City – Mattias Jonson – Signed from BrǾndby £850k – The European Championships of 2004 were not one of the greatest – a decisively poor Greek squad took home the winners medals and all players ‘uncovered’ here didn’t go on to achieve much. This is – in any case – the excuse we are acquiring to Jonson, who enjoyed a “fantastic” tournament with Sweden, grabbing the important goal against rivals Denmark. He was snatched by newly-promoted Norwich for a big fee (under circumstances), handed the #9 shirt and the job to keep them up – 28 games and 0 goals later the excitement had seemingly evaporated and it is no surprise A) Norwich subsequently went straight back down and B) He has played in Sweden ever since.
QPR – Armel Tchakounte – Signed from Carshalton Athletic £0 – How many Conference players are full-time internationals? Well apparently representing Cameroon on a regular basis was a huge part of QPR snapping Armel up from Carshalton Athletic of the Conference South – it turned out he was once an un-used sub – and his time at Loftus Road really confirmed it. To be fair, he did match his international appearances domestically – bagging 3 un-used bench-warmings. Before suffering a to-this-day ‘mysterious’ injury and has never been seen in England since.Stoke City – Dave Kitson – Signed from Reading £5.5m – As a £5m+ record signing for your new club, you don’t expect to be left out of the side for James Beattie, that’s the reality the ex-Reading man was faced with at The Brittania. Did he have a leg to stand on though? No goals in 16 league games portrayed a far from prolific first term – when you go out to the newspapers though – and are quoted with “I hold my hands up – I shouldn’t of gone to Stoke”, you are asking for trouble. After only three league goals in 18 the following season, he was shown the back door – a less than satisfied Tony Pulis branding him “Petulant” on the way. Sunderland – Tore André Flo – Signed from Rangers £6.75m – When as a supporter you place your faith in your manager to go out there with big funds and replace a club legend – you expect him to deliver. Unfortunately in Peter Reid’s case, this big Norwegian was certainly no Niall Quinn and this in itself was more than likely a deciding factor in Howard Wilkinson soon picking up the reigns. Wilkinson was not a fan of the Norwegian’s ‘long-ball antics’ & the club found themselves relegated with the then lowest ever point total. The higher paid ‘stars’ had to be let go and fortunately for Sunderland – Tore André was seen as one of them
Swansea City – Pawel Abbott – Signed from Huddersfield Town £150k – Pawel Tadeusz Howard Abbott, such a fine name for a half Polish/half English centre forward. A more than decent lower league reputation for being a prolific goalscorer but unfortunately for The Swans as of 2007 became more of a ‘boy-boys’ target and accustomed to a few ‘hand-over-eyes’ moments. Luckily, at £150k they didn’t turn over such a huge loss, Pawel went on to continue a very respectable scoring record at Darlington & Oldham. Must have been the weather in Wales...
Tottenham Hotspurs – Hélder Postiga – Signed from Porto £8.36m – A rising European talent growing inside a fine Porto side – that won the Champions League – during the year Hélder spent warming the North London bench. It wasn’t long before the media cottoned on to his inability to hit the back of the net, the reputation he was signed with soon abandoned him and whilst he became the laughing stock of English football, his pals Deco and co were historically victorious in being the only Portuguese side ever to win in Europe. Postiga went back the following year and Porto have not even come close to re-living the dizzying European heights – a sign for poor old Hélder?West Bromwich Albion – Borja Valero – Signed from Mallorca £4.7m – The ‘yo-yoing’ side from the West Midlands were infamous in not splashing out wildly they as stepped back up into The Premier League after a victorious Championship campaign. Though, the biggest – and most disastrous – exception to this rule has to be Valero, a whopping sum of almost £5m it cost to prize him from Mallorca. After appearing vastly lethargic and not really achieving anything Spanish midfielders do best, he was shipped out on loan for two terms. Eventually Villarreal became new suitors & has since picked up his first national side cap. Typical...
Wigan – Jason Scotland – Signed from Swansea £2m – What a reputation this Championship forward was building for himself - couldn’t stop scoring in a less-than-attack-minded Swansea side and was soon snapped up by The Latics in what appeared a bargain coup for Roberto Martinez. Making his debut on August 15th it took Jason Scotland until April 4th to bag his first League goal – a horrific run of 29(!) league games. Upon signings for his predecessors Swansea he claimed “I thought it was England”, poor old Scotland might’ve been glad of the Welsh opportunity before the English Premier League tore him to shreds.
Wolves – Tomasz Frankowski – Signed from Elche £1.4m – After scoring 9 goals in 11 games for your country on the road to a World Cup, all must have seemed to be going dreamily for this Pole. To then suffer what can only be seen as a ‘footballing nightmare’ and appear 16 times in The Championship without netting a single goal – turned his dream into a vicious nightmare. It didn’t stop there, after earning the horrendous nickname “The Pole with no goal”, Pawel Janas then left him out of the Polish squad for Germany – an omission that will surely haunt him forever. Otherwise enjoying a vastly successful career, the word ‘Molineux’ must still make Tomasz dive for the covers.
Average price paid for ‘Worst ever signing’ = £5.928m
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